you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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