just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
