did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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