You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
