like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
