Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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