I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
