i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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