Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
