yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
