people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
