your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
