My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
