To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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