her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
