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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize