I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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