I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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