why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
did i just pee glitter
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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