no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
