I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you didnt know i had herpes?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
