I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
