i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you didnt know i had herpes?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
