either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
