I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
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