Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
