Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
