I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
