We got so high we made milksteak
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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