very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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