I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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