If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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