I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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