We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
