I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I could fuck to npr.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
