I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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