a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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