Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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