Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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