Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
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