Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
