Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
