She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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