there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
