Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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