Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
