dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
