Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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