Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
