I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
