Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize
