i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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