you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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