there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize