Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize