We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
