ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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