Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
