Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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