I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My feet surprised me
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