i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
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