I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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