Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
