There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
