I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
